stupid boys (with the exception of those present). my boyfriend and i broke up this weekend. i really don't know who broke up with who. i did the actual "i think we should break up" but that was only in response to his basically telling me that's what he wanted our relationship to be.
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scene: saturday night/early sunday morning, inside my car outside of a friend's apartment, 2amish
me: in an ideal world, what is it that you want exactly?
boy: i want things to be how they were.
me: when how they were? give me a month.
boy: january.
me: you mean the first week of january when we hadn't kissed yet?
boy: yes.
me: ...
boy: we won't see other people but then when i'm ready for a relationship, we can pick up where we left off.
me: we just broke up.
end of scene.
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i left a lot of stuff out there, but you can get the gist. i didn't know when he walked me to my car that we were just about to break up. i just knew i was pissed that he was being a jackass all night to me in front of our mutual friends and really just paying me no mind. then, she came over. they're best friends. warms my heart really. and when he put his hands on her bare lower back and gave her a massage because apparently "she fell down the stairs", i had enough. i really didn't want to be dramatic about it, but for the love of god, how much can i let myself be shat upon in one evening, let alone the last month. so i left. and he walked me out. and we talked. and then we broke up.
i talked to him the next day. he was supposed to call me when he woke up. i didn't get a phone call until 4:30. classic for him. he said he couldn't come over to get his stuff until tomorrow. i said this was not going to be dragged out another day. he said he was rewiring his speakers and couldn't make it. i said that i will put his stuff in a box in the garage and he can pick it up while i'm at work. once again, i'm leaving out a lot of words. end of conversation. for those interested, the box contained one electronic dart board, one playstation 2, assorted playstation 2 games, one audrey hepburn boxed set, one copy of the movie "safemen", the board game "movie mania" and the board game "free parking." i opted not to throw in his toothbrush, half empty deodorant, or his contact case.
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i sent him an email on monday. it went a little something like this:
subject: you can keep the key...jason has already changed the locks*
okay. granted i think you treated me unfairly for the last few weeks. that was kind of made worse when you made it evident that you were at least partially cognizant that you were doing it. it just really sucked. and it also seemed that you were mad that i would be mad or hurt at all by what happened. ridiculous, ridikulis. i would never treat a friend the way you treated me. and just so there's no confusion, the way you treated me from my perspective was filled with the magic of just basically not paying me no mind without being very honest about it. why on earth that you would decide that i need to be treated like that is beyond me and really the basis of why i'm so unbelievably hurt. you can apologize all you want, but you did it. i saw you doing it. i was hoping it wasn't intentional or terminal. no gold star for me. and when you seemed to be irritated (perhaps just hurt) by the fact that i might not ever speak to you again, that was just a bit insensitive. give me a bit of time. i am angry. i am surprised. i am hurt. i am fucking pissed at you for being a jackass to me. i don't know why it happened. i guess i should be glad it happened. whatever. in summation, it was fun until you decided that i wasn't as fun as whatever else might be going on wherever i wasn't.
*it was purely coincidental that jason changed the side door lock on sunday rendering your key useless but at the same time purely poetically hilarious.
michelle biloon
single ass bitch
dell home systems
512.728.1569
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his response:
I'm glad that the key is useless, cause now I can have
it bronzed and turned into a locket. That is fairly
poetic that the locks are changed. If you want the key
it is lying on top of the shelf in the garage next to
the spade. I didn't realize ya'll even had a black guy
in your garage.
The Jackass
ps. the single ass bitch was a nice touch.
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so if i even thought for one minute that i should regret what i apparently initiated this weekend, this pretty much tells me to kick that to the coffeeshop (curb is getting kind of old, don't you think?). it still sucks though. i'll live. and i'll find somebody better. until then, i'm just happy that i get to watch The Osbourne's every tuesday night at 9:30 on mtv.
OK, listen up. This film will NOT be in theaters very long. SEE IT. Don't miss it in the theater. Don't wait for video or the excellent DVD release. It is one of the most truly original films I have seen in years. It is immediately engaging, cryptic, visually stunning, darkly comic and as satisfying a viewing as I can recall in a mainstream theater in a long long time.
If you see Donnie Darko, I guarantee you'll be talking about it for a while. And I suspect you will want to see it again. It's playing at 10:15pm only at Alamo Draft House North, and unfortunately, I expect a short run. Relatively unknown actor Jake Gllyenhaal (of City Slickers, Homegrown, Josh and S.A.M., Bubble Boy and the wonderful but little-seen October Sky) is simply perfect as Donnie, the cocky, confused, (horny) medicated 16 year-old. Mary McDonnell (Independence Day, Dances With Wolves, Grand Canyon) is the rock solid center of the film as Donnie's surprisingly cool mom.
The always smoldering and sexy James Duval (Nowhere, Totally Fucked Up, Go, SLC Punk!) shines in an unusual dual role. The film also includes Drew Barrymore (also executive producer), Noah Wyle, an over-the-top Patrick Swayze and a surprisingly evocative, well-integrated 80's soundtrack with Tears For Fears, The Church, Joy Division, Echo & The Bunnymen and Duran Duran.
This is a confident, self-assured, original film, and even more impressive when you realize it is 27-year-old Richard Kelly's directorial debut. "I loved it. It was much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again."
I Do NOT Feel Secure Back In January, I posted a long rant on airport security that pointed out what I thought were some of the problems there. Those problems are still there, as far as I can tell. According to a report out today screeners are failing to catch weapons in half the cases, and access to secure airport ramp areas has been gained in almost half the attempts. The sad real numbers? Screeners missed knives 70 percent of the time, guns 30 percent of the time and simulated explosives 60 percent of the time, and investigators either secretly boarded an aircraft or gained access to the airport tarmac in 48% of tests.
How hard is this for pete's sake? UK airports have software in the screening machines that automatically inserts a fake "threat silhouette" (like a gun or a suspicious shape) into the viewer periodically. When a screener misses the threat, they are relieved of duty and retrained. If it happens again, they are relieved of duty permanently.
Even with guys with guns standing next to the screeners, "security breaches caused the government to evacuate 59 airport concourses or terminals between Oct. 30 and March 7, forcing 2,456 flights to be delayed or canceled, the FAA says." "Passengers on another 734 flights had to leave their seats and go through security a second time," the FAA said.
These "breaches" mean someone either walked away after being detained, got through without screening, or in some way penetrated the secure area without scanning. We could hire high-school kids to do a better job. I am disgusted by the incompetence, and the silly superficial changes (like Guardsmen with guns--totally useless) made to make it appear more secure. Check the story in USA Today for additional sad details.
Oscars! Well, it's the day after the "Gay Super Bowl" and thanks to David & Charles (who host a super Oscar party each year, complete with pre-game red carpet fashion dishing and more bitchy comments from the assembled Oscar queens than you can imagine) I watched the show in style.
Some random thoughts: Will Smith looked fantastic. So did Denzel, Ryan Phillippe (who would look good in a grocery sack), Halle Berry, Renee Zellwegger, Kevin Spacey, Nicole Kidman, Ben Kingsley and Judi Dench, as well as the guy with the cowboy-fringed tuxedo jacket who won something early in the evening. Peter Jackson needs a shave and a haircut. David Lynch and Baz Luhrmann just need haircuts. Tom Hanks, Woody, and so many other men just looked too conventional--very 80's prom king. Will Smith looked formal, yet relaxed a bit. So did Ethan Hawke. But Gwyneth? What in hell were you thinking? Give J-Lo back her dress and buy a nice bra.
Randy Newman's speech was authentic and funny. Halle Berry's was touching, if a bit overwrought. Till she started thanking her lawyers and agents and all the usual acceptance crap she had me. Denzel's tribute to Sidney Poitier seemed honestly appreciative and from the heart--he was a good choice to present. Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson's bit on costumes made me laugh. The "dead stars" tribute was not as interminably boring as usual. Redford deserved his award. Ron Howard deserved an Oscar for Beautiful Mind. His movie made me read the original biography. Sissy Spacek ROCKS in In The Bedroom, as does Tom Wilkinson, even if it didn't win. And Nick Stahl and Marisa Tomei shine too--see this movie. Lord of the Rings has 2 more years to win more stuff, but earned its awards in Visuals, Make-up and Score.
Whoopi was wonderful--struck the right notes, made some funny inside jokes, threw in a couple of good ad-libs and even managed to skewer Ashcroft. Great entrance too. I liked it--even if it ran long.
